Many times you talk to a new person for the first time and feel that the conversation is going well, then … silence and nothing else, you do not know what to say after that, neither does the other side. That is so embarrassing, so what will you do?
You have to learn that mastering “what to say” is an important component of communication, nevertheless many people lack the skill of leading the conversations.
One of the greatest problems you may encounter when attempting to make new acquaintances is the awkward silence. Facing this situation is uncomfortable, which force you to avoid meeting new people.
Luckily, there is a way to circumvent this situation. One simple rule that can make conversation run smoothly between you and the person you’re talking to, no matter who he is.
“Whatever the talk, make sure that 30% of what you say is new information.”
Any conversation won’t last long with the same information repeated over and over, where boredom, and there is no incentive to keep talking. When you don’t add anything new, the conversation becomes like an inverted pyramid.
Whenever you talk and exchange information using the 30% rule equally, you will learn new things during the chatting and keep the conversation very interesting.
(Example Number 1):
Friend: – “The food in that restaurant was amazing!”
What I shouldn’t say: – “Yes, it was good.”
What I should say: – “Actually, I liked it especially the way they prepared the fried potato dish. Tell me of another place you visited last week … (Then continue with adding new information about the other restaurant).
(Example Number 2):
Friend: “This test was very difficult, and I am sure about my failure.”
What I shouldn’t say: “Right, it was very difficult.”
What I should say: “That’s right, but which question did you find most difficult? The part for calculating the current value wasn’t too bad. I wrote about … (talk about how to answer the question).
You’re probably wondering why only 30% new information?
If you add a lot of new information, the conversation will easily become from one side, and the person you’re talking to may feel like you’re not listening to him. It will look like a lecture, not a conversation.
Two things must be taken into account when applying the 30% rule for successful conversation:
First, both parties should be interested in continuing the conversation; it is very important to appreciate other people’s feelings and conditions while talking if they are in someplace, exhausted or don’t like to talk, so this rule won’t work. In this case, you have to put off the conversation for another time.
Second – when you can’t expand the topic, stop talking; If someone said something like: “This banana was delicious” you might feel that there isn’t much to add. In that situation, you have to agree with what he said, subsequently suggest new topic so you will have more scope to discuss about it.
Once you do this, you’ll be able to make your conversation flow naturally and smoothly with the 30% rule, so you can talk to new people and make friends far more easily.